on "writer's" block

and how seasonal shift kickstarted mine

Hello and happy Monday!

Milkweed seeds that are allowed to replant themselves in front of my local YMCA. HOORAY FOR LETTING PLANTS BE WILD IN PUBLIC SPACES.

augh, this week

We’re headed into a really challenging week. How are you getting through? My plan is to keep making art, to spend time outside instead of on my damn phone whenever the panic kicks in, and to obviously vote my brains out on Tuesday.

on how the seasonal shift shifted something in me

I feel like my printmaking practice has just emerged from a long winter’s nap. For better or worse, when art-making starts to tip closer to Career than Hobby on the great seesaw of life, an artist’s day to day starts looking less like inky fingers and more like spreadsheets, emails, and logistics. Also, in the case of me, a lot of questions like What Am I Doing? And What’s Next? And NO REALLY WHAT AM I ACTUALLY DOING? It’s like, once it feels like a Serious Endeavor, I become paralyzed with fear about decision-making and, ultimately, failure.

But all I want to do— all I EVER want to do— is carve wood and throw things through my press.

So I’ve come to realize that, like many things in life, this is a mental game. I have to convince myself that what I’m making DOESN’T MATTER. It’s one tiny part of a long marathon. If it flops, I will learn from it and move on. Forward motion in the wrong direction is preferable to standing still.

I’ve been in this analysis-paralysis “writer’s” block for a few months, an absolute eternity. But I finally broke free and started carving again and BOY OH BOY did it feel good. It felt so good I started another piece. And then another. And …another? I have about four pieces going at once now, in various states of completion. Flow state: achieved.

And how did it happen? I think, honestly, and I know how this is going to sound but I think it was the changing of the leaves. The seasonal shift. The absolutely amazing beauty all around me, shouting for attention. I found myself constantly taking photos and rushing back to the studio to sketch. I felt like I was going to explode if I didn’t start making something AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

One of 4+ new pieces in the works. Sugar Maples.

backyard report

This is the time of year when you’re supposed to plant spring bulbs, and I’ve picked up a tradition from my aunt-in-law Dorothy. Every year for Day of the Dead, she plants bulbs in honor of various family/friends who have died. She saves the bulb catalog, even, and marks the pages with post-it notes to remember which person she has earmarked for which bulb. In the spring, the flowers push through the cold soil like a big, fresh, beautiful hello from all of her passed loved ones. How beautiful is that?

So I started doing it myself a few years ago. This year I planted several new bulbs to replace ones that have gotten eaten or died. The best part is in assigning each bulb a person. Thinking about that person as I dig up the soil and tuck in each bulb. Saying hello. I’m not a religious person but this has become a beloved ritual for me; I get to visit with these people twice a year, every year. I really, really like finding traditions that make sense for my own personal concept of spirituality and this is one of the best.

Hoping you find beauty during this challenging time of year.

Beeswax candles + therapy lamps + democracy,

Sarah